Sunday, February 16, 2014


I haven't posted here in forever.  It has been a rough couple of years.  I've been having serious health problems for the past year.  Exhaustion, plus constant pain that is sometimes bad enough that all I can do is lay in bed and cry.  The doctors have repeatedl changed thier minds about what I have.  First it was an infection, then Endometriosis, the gastric issues, and now they think it is Fibromyalgia. 

For the past 5 or so years I have been thinking that it was possible I had either chronic fatigue or fibro.  I just don't react to things the way other people seem to, and everything seemed to take so much more energy and be so much more exhausting for me than for others.  On top of that I have had years of episodes of sudden overwhelming exhaustion and brain fog that I could never get a doctor to understand.  As soon as the doctors started saying that it might be fibro a few months ago I was terrified that I had been right and at this point it seems to be so, but since there isn't a test for it, there is always the chance that next month I will have a brand new diagnosis.

The meds are horrible, but they help the pain. I am currently in withdrawals from one med because the side effects were intolerable for me.  Double vision, memory loss, even worse exhaustion.  I couldn't function like that, even if I did hurt less.  Hopefully the new medication will work for me and I will be able to go back to work and live my life the way I want to. In the mean time, I am trying to cope with my illness by focusing on my creative side.  Making things can be so soothing.  It is a reminder that I am more than the sum of my limitations, no matter how overwhelming they seem some days. 

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