Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Updates and Self Care

Today my doctor extended my work restrictions for another 2 months.  Yet more news I didn't want to hear.  On the brigh side,  My medication side effects seem to be evening out.  Hopefully soon I ill know if thus combination is likely to work for me.  Hopefully.

It is so easy to get caught up in the health care circus and your own brain.  It is almost impossible not to.  Being told that it would likely be at least another 2 months until I am able to work was a huge blow.  I supposed it shouldn't have been unexpected, but every time I go to the doctor I hope that he sees some mystical sign of improvement that I have missed. With all the stress, frustration, and pain that are part and parcel of illness, self care is incredibly important. Sometimes that means taking a nap or using a stationery bicycle instead of cleaning the apartment, even if someone is coming over tomorrow.

I've started a little morning routine.  I'm not always able to stick to it, because doctors appoints and sick cats can disrupt any schedule, but here it is on an ideal morning:

  1. Take meds, brush teeth, etc.
  2. Put on glitter eyeshadow and lipgloss
  3. make something to eat, usually a smoothie
  4. spend at least 5 minutes working on a creative project

Taking a few minute to do something to make myself smile at the very beginning of the day can really help set the mood for the day! I'm starting to find the types of projects that work the best for my right now.  Crocheting is great because it isn't too physically active.  Resin crafting too, because the active portion, actually pouring resin in molds and bezels, only takes a few minutes at a time.  The waiting time for it to cure can seem like torture when you want to play with your new baubles. Sewing is more difficult.  leaning forward to use the sewing machine makes my back hurt rather quickly.  I want to try adjusting my work station to find something that is better for my body, but I haven't been able to do so yet.

Self care isn't always fun, but it makes you feel better in the long term.  Brian gave me a stationary pedals machine.  It let me exercise even when I don't feel up to going out for a walk.  I'm also planning on getting a manual treadmill.  Exercise is supposed to be hugely beneficial for fibro patients, and it is just healthy in general, so I think this will help!  Before I got sick I had taken up jogging.  I HATED doing it, but it made me feel so much better afterwards.  It really was amazing how much of a difference it made.  I've never been a particularly active person, so I was incredibly proud of myself the first time I ran a mile.  I would really like to get back to that, but I know it will take a lot of time.

I'm still learning how to take care of myself, but I think I am getting consistently better at it. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Needle felting

Do you have a Daiso nearby?  It is one of my favorite stores.  Japanese imports and most everything is $1.50.  Really, I just like wandering down the aisles checking out the fun and sometimes odd looking products.  Last night I was there and noticed that they had felting needles and packages of different colors wool roving.  I have been contemplating needle felting for a while, so I picked out a few colors and made my way to the check out.

When I got home I pulled out the roving and needles and gave it a try.  I didn't know what I was doing, so I googled and found this super basic set of instructions, and decided I wanted to make a little white mouse.  It was a lot easier than I expected!  Sculpting is not one of my best skills, and my mouse turned out pretty cute!  He is pretty loosely felted, so he is very squishy.  I doubt he would hold up well to being played with, but for sitting on a shelf, he is perfect.

Sunday, February 16, 2014


I haven't posted here in forever.  It has been a rough couple of years.  I've been having serious health problems for the past year.  Exhaustion, plus constant pain that is sometimes bad enough that all I can do is lay in bed and cry.  The doctors have repeatedl changed thier minds about what I have.  First it was an infection, then Endometriosis, the gastric issues, and now they think it is Fibromyalgia. 

For the past 5 or so years I have been thinking that it was possible I had either chronic fatigue or fibro.  I just don't react to things the way other people seem to, and everything seemed to take so much more energy and be so much more exhausting for me than for others.  On top of that I have had years of episodes of sudden overwhelming exhaustion and brain fog that I could never get a doctor to understand.  As soon as the doctors started saying that it might be fibro a few months ago I was terrified that I had been right and at this point it seems to be so, but since there isn't a test for it, there is always the chance that next month I will have a brand new diagnosis.

The meds are horrible, but they help the pain. I am currently in withdrawals from one med because the side effects were intolerable for me.  Double vision, memory loss, even worse exhaustion.  I couldn't function like that, even if I did hurt less.  Hopefully the new medication will work for me and I will be able to go back to work and live my life the way I want to. In the mean time, I am trying to cope with my illness by focusing on my creative side.  Making things can be so soothing.  It is a reminder that I am more than the sum of my limitations, no matter how overwhelming they seem some days.